I wish I died when I took 14 of these:
I was throwing up for hours.
Thats 10,500 mg of acetaminophen. (you should never exceed 4,000 mg)
No doubt if I were a older man I would have probably died (as I kept saying that to myself)
Friends said you should have gone to the hospital, get your stomach pumped.
But No!
I remember curling up alone in my bed, finally being able to sleep.
Then I woke up.
Then TODAY TODAY! FUCK TODAY!
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I cant explain this rage that disappears when I smoke you. The exhale of smoke is like my worries, cares and inhibitions go with it, in it, to evolve into nothing. A little trace of existence. A little trace of Patrick.
Only thing left is the smell. And then that is only a memory.
See I was really anger when I started this post. Well sad too. I had to wipe tears away first in a constant struggle to gain insight, perspective on this crazy world. The world where knowledge is your enemy. When knowing too much is All Too Much! I cant believe what goes on here. Its truly un holy...
But now,
I smoked weed and I don’t care. Blah.
Burnt Hands
Wet Feet
I will go forth
You damn well better go forth. And write a freakin book...you know what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteHahah. thanks i needed to hear that
ReplyDeleteMy shrink told me once that would happen if I took a bunch of pills and most probably would not die. I rather liked Heath Ledger's accidental approach. Don't know if I'll ever do it but most times I want to, but for now meds are working. I'm 39, have a good job, good husband, good life... yet the pain that comes from love and loss are what make me want to quit life, I think it's better to have never loved, except, family is not excluded. Get help, you are very young AND good looking, have lots of years to have someone "fuck you". Yes, life sucks, but meds or therapy are the glasses that help you see your way through. I love photography and everywhere I look I see a picture, yet can't seem to be able to use the camera, Jesse is also my teacher and she has helped me a lot as well. Good luck.
ReplyDelete